Life is Choice

As soon as you grasp that face that all the choices are yours to make, you will stop being tossed around like a rag-doll.

I used to be a bit of a perfectionist. I was constantly under pressure to make the right choice, do the right thing. Of course, it was me who was applying the pressure, and it was a direct result of feeling that I wasn't good enough, that I had to prove myself, that the opinion of others actually mattered that much.

I traced this pattern back over my life and noticed it had been there from way back. Little girls are subtly bound by all sorts of unspoken rules about being good and doing the right thing, dressing appropriately and speaking nicely. Little boys are expected to be boisterous and bold and muddy and rude. Not fair!  

Now, my family was not exactly mainstream so this social conditioning was very muted in our home, but at school and at the homes of my friends it was strong. It's hard to escape. In no small way this clash of background colours planted that tiny, noxious seed of thought that I wasn't quite right, not the same. I took it personally. I had this small nagging voice inside me telling me I had to validate myself.

By adulthood that tiny seed had grown into an invasive, choking vine. Where I come from, in the northern region of New Zealand, we have a tree called Rātā. It begins life as an epiphytic vine, high in the forest canopy. It grows it's way slowly toward the ground where it establishes its own shallow root system. By this time the host tree is almost completely encased by the Rātā, choked out, and it dies. Rātā lives on, beautiful, but hollow. I've met people like that.

That's what was happening to me. It happens to lots of people. Maybe that's what has happened to you too? That tiny seed of not-good-enough grew and grew, appearing to be a natural part of me. It began to cover up and choke the person who I was born to be, the real me. I became so afraid to express myself, to dream big dreams and reach for lofty goals. No, not me, I couldn't possibly. My mother watched in horror as I let my Rātā take over.

“The power of choice. It’s not just an ability, it is your superpower in this life.”

Well, thankfully, I'm not a tree. I am a person, an eternal entity, a fascinating version of life itself, and as such I am powerful beyond measure. And you too, so are you!

Powerful? What power?

The power of choice. It's not just an ability, it is your superpower in this life. You get to choose, at any given moment, which way to go, what to think, what to do, what to believe, what to act upon.

You can choose happiness over despair, joy over sorrow, action over submission, honesty over deceit. Choose to wear a smile instead of a frown, kindness in place of control and understanding in the place of anger. Am I being a nice, submissive girl again? No way! Not me, not this time!

This time my actions are taken by my own choice. I am happy because I want to be. I am kind because I choose it. I choose it because I understand that I am connected to everyone and everything that there ever was or ever will be. You and I and the Universe - we are One.

But that's another story...