How to blog... or not.

For years now I’ve had this great intention to be a writer. I do quite a lot of writing for my job and I enjoy it once I get started but it’s the getting started bit that I often get stuck on. For work there’s a deadline and a sense of accountability to the team that keeps me on track. When it comes to my own projects though (such as this blog), I’m too easily blown off course.

Naturally, as a coach and teacher, I’ve learned a ton of stuff about setting goals, planning the project, timetabling and scheduling and if you were to look at my calendar you’d be impressed. I could teach you a thing or two about planning! My work tasks and personal projects are beautifully timetabled and colour-coded. You could be forgiven for thinking that I must be really good at getting everything done. It sure looks that way.

The truth of the matter is that while I have great intentions to stick to my well planned programme I allow myself to be blown about by the people around me. Someone calls, someone drops in, someone asks to meet me for something, someone asks me to do something for them and I say, “Yup, I can do that.” I’m really good at getting everything planned. Getting it done is another matter.

I even know why.

I can’t say no. Well, I can, but I tend not to. The coach in me recognises this people pleasing pattern and I am working on it, truly I am. I’m no longer beholden to my inbox and have set times in the day to check email. That’s a good start. But when it comes to people I’m a bit of a pushover. I like to be the nice guy.

Here’s my next why, though: knowing what I know, why do I keep letting it happen, really?

Well, the answer to that is a bit harder to face. Essentially, I am afraid.

There. I said it. Yes I am afraid - afraid of failing, afraid of succeeding, afraid of the change I’m triggering in my own life, afraid of looking like a loser. Floating around the back of my mind is that familiar old ghost - “Who do you think you are? Nobody cares what you think.”

Yes, I will fail, I will look like a loser, people may scoff or laugh, but you know what? What anyone else thinks of me (you’ve heard this before) is none of my business. The nugget of wisdom is this: NOBODY gets it right all of the time. You already knew that though, right.

When you realise you’ve slipped off the rails, and you will, just get back on again. Don’t waste your time berating your shortcomings. Take a breath, refocus and move. It’s really a decision. Nobody else is holding you back, just you.

So, how do I blog? I decide to and then I just do it.